I'm the decider. Why men are taking over the shopping cart at a grocery store near you.

I came across a recent article in AdAge called “Time to Rethink Your Message: The Cart Belongs to Daddy” about a study Yahoo conducted on men. It was based on interviews of 2,400 men ages 18-64 and showed that more than half of men view themselves as the primary shopper of their households. Other interesting statistics were that 6 out of 10 Dads identify themselves as the primary shopper/decision maker on packaged goods, health, pet, and clothing purchases. Also, only 22%-24% of men felt that advertising spoke to them in packaged goods, pet supplies or clothing; 52% of men said that packaged goods ads ignore them; 61% of men said that personal care ads ignore them; and 66% of men said that clothing ads ignore them.

The article goes on to discuss possible causes for this gender shift. The Great Recession, which has thrown men who have traditionally been employed, out of work and into domestic roles could be a reason for the change. However, it goes on to say that gender roles were already changing with Gen X and Millennial men, who are more likely to take an active role in parenting and household duties.

Concerns over the results were expressed by the director of research and insights at Yahoo stating that there’s the possibility that men are overestimating their role in shopping. Nevertheless, the fact that men are now seeing themselves as the primary shopper reflects a shift in roles and possibly the reduction of any stigma once attached to men who took on domestic roles in the past.

Another study from Publicis Groupe’s Saatchi & Saatchi X on behavioral research of shoppers showed that in actuality 35% of grocery and mass-merchandise shoppers are men. They say that the number is growing due to the economy and changing gender roles and though it’s not the majority, a third of a brand’s shoppers are difficult to ignore. This would advocate gender-neutral ads and some major brands are already starting to integrate these kinds of ads into their messaging. An example of this can be seen in the P&G and Wal-Mart ad called “Change of Plans” which aired on Fox Jan. 8, 2011. It showed a man, who had just become an adoptive father, shopping for groceries at Wal-Mart.

Regarding shopping behavior, Yahoo found that men are more brand-loyal and less focused on promotions than women shoppers. They tend to do more product research in packaged good categories than women, and because they’re often newer to the categories themselves, them prefer ads with more information.

I found this article relevant for two reasons. First, I plan to work at an agency or for a company in the advertising department. Advertisements have generally been geared towards women regarding household goods, and tend to ignore the male point of view. Yet, if men are now a viable audience, advertisers will need to adjust advertising messages accordingly. Second, my amazing husband (a Millennial) has become the primary shopper of our household in recent years. After much thought however, I was surprised that I couldn’t figure out exactly how that came about. I know that in the beginning I was the primary shopper…hmmm. Thus, I proceeded to interview him (Matt) about this topic, and I found out some interesting things that mirrored much of the research from the above article. 
Note: I did not edit this content and recorded all responses verbatim, except for my interjections from time to time.

Do you think you’re the primary shopper of the household?

Yes, I do.

Why do you believe this?

Because I do all of the grocery shopping and take care of household chores-- so I know what needs to be bought.

How did you become the primary shopper?

My wife has successfully abandoned her position as a caregiver. So being faced with the choice of starving, or eating, I made the choice to survive! No…Initially it was because if we would run out of something I wanted, I would have to wait until you were able to go get it. You would wait until you needed to go to the store for several things though. So, gradually, I started to get tired of having to wait for you if we ran out of something I really wanted, like peanut butter (he loves PB&J sandwiches).

So do you feel you were forced to become the primary shopper?

In a way, due to circumstances. I think you were really busy with school stuff, and it wasn’t a big priority (I was in law school at this time).  But I don’t mind it much now. I get what I need and what I want, when I want it.

You seem to like being the primary shopper now. Why?

Before you would get the brands and things you liked and I would just eat what you bought. I didn’t have any control over what we ate because I would just eat whatever you brought home. But now, I get to have control over what it is that I purchase.  For example, I like certain apples, or a certain brand of cereal…and it’s not that you wouldn’t get it for me, but you would look at what “we” needed. Your focus was on the needs of the household and maybe more your wants than mine.

So it was that I wasn’t buying the things you wanted, right?

No, not exactly. But now I get those Fiber Pop Tarts, and you didn’t know that they made those, did you? Also, you used to always get Chocolate Blue Bell ice cream, which was fine. But I like the Coffee Haagen Dazs, and you never liked it so you would never buy it.  

Describe your shopping behavior?

I usually just go in and get what I know I need. I don’t make lists like you. I base my store choice on proximity. I go to Randall’s because it closer, whereas you go to the HEB that’s further away because it’s huge. I don’t walk up and down aisles. But I do compare produce at different stores, and I always look to see if they have new kinds of apples. I do like to try new stuff, but I usually like to research it first. I’ll try a new jelly or a new product though if it looks good.   

   

Probably the most interesting thing about this interview is where Matt talks about really feeling a lack of control in terms of what grocery items we purchased. He tends to still do the grocery shopping, but we’re trying to do it together now (when we’re in the same city). This is great for us, because we can discuss what we want at the point of purchase. We can agree on what we eat together, which makes us both more satisfied with what we bring home. It also makes us both feel like we have a say in what gets purchased and consumed in our household. Now when we go together, it’s like a big event, and we spend a lot of time going down each aisle—which, I must say, is really fun for me.

A side note on the control issue…when we go to the store together, I notice that my husband prefers to push the cart, as if he wants to direct where we go in the store. I could be misinterpreting this--maybe he things I’m too slow. But I laugh to myself every time because at the beginning I’ll have the cart and then he’ll casually take it away from me while I’m distracted and looking at some product.

As I look around the grocery store now, I see more and more young couples shopping together too, rather than alone. And they seem to both be discussing and deciding purchase choices.

I’d like to research the idea that men believe they’re the primary shopper, see if there are sub-categories and other characteristics of male shoppers, and just learn more about male shopping behavior since I agree it’s a growing audience for advertisers. I’d also like to look into the shopping habits of Millennials and Gen X shoppers to see if and why couples are starting to shop more together.

There are several scholarly articles that discuss changes in gender roles and males shopping behavior and attitudes, but I’m a little concerned that this topic is too broad, and I’m not sure how and if I should narrow my focus.  

What makes a meaningful customer experience?

Thus far my most memorable and meaningful customer experience was when I purchased my wedding dress. I remember everything about the experience, from the first time I saw “the dress” and knew it was “the one”, to when I subsequently tried it on and purchased it. However, I was also emotional about the experience before I even arrived at Julian Gold or knew about Reem Acra bridal gowns.  Therefore, the event (my wedding) connected to that particular customer experience was what enhanced the experience and made it more memorable. And though the retailer, Julian Gold, impressed me with their customer service, I think I expected it and wasn’t really surprised when they offered me champagne or had 2 of their staff assist me throughout the dress fitting process. These enhancements to the experience were great, but if I hadn’t had them, I probably still would have been just as happy. Julian Gold knew that I felt this way about the experience and they were prepared to enhance that already giddy feeling I had. It’s the kind of experience where, at least for me, something really has to go wrong to take away that positive emotion. It’s where you only remember the good things that made the experience special and ignore anything that might threaten that perfect euphoria.

So while I feel like that experience was meaningful, I brought something outside of that experience to the table, which enhanced it for the better, thus making Julian Gold’s job slightly easier. They didn’t have to win me over, or impress me with their ambiance or image. There were no surprises. They had the dress I wanted and by association the store was perfect too, end of story.  

In contrast, and perhaps an experience that was meaningful in a different way, because my initial reaction was surprising, is a customer experience that continues to evolve. This company seems to effortlessly create an experience for their consumer that makes you feel like you’re in a museum, discovering everything for the first time—except that you can touch, taste, smell, and even eat their stuff. This place is Kuhl-Linscomb. It was first a design firm in Houston, Texas established in 1984, that has now grown into 70,000 sq. ft. of design and lifestyle retail space. They have everything a person could want to fill their personal space with—this store truly has everything! Apothecary and fragrance, lighting, wall coverings and fabric, home accessories, books, stationary, jewelry, music, pet accessories, storage, children, bedding and bath, and furniture.

So here’s the breakdown…when looking at this experience from an experiential marketing point of view, Kuhl-Linscomb definitely gets it.  They’ve stated that they “Understand the importance of the overall ambience in our showrooms and we pay special attention to our presentation in every detail such as the architecture, interior design, color, lighting, fixtures, product display, etc.” The company has five buildings, which divides their different products and design centers into smaller departments. This is a good thing, since experiencing all they have to offer all at once would be overwhelming and sensory overload for most.  When you first arrive, you enter the first building, which encompasses all of their bath, fragrance, apothecary, jewelry, books, teas, music, pet, and stationary products (this building alone can keep one fully engaged for hours).  

SENSE- When I first walked in I immediately was engulfed in a slightly overpowering, but pleasant smell of fresh cut roses. Once in the store I heard the sound of music, but this wasn’t just any satellite radio station, it sounded like lounge and world music combined. If you’ve ever heard of Buddha Bar, then that’s what it sounded like. I saw a floor to ceiling wall in front of me that had a small credenza with maps of the different buildings laid out for customers. I grabbed a map and continued through to the open area. The store was not particularly well organized, considering the variety of products, yet it still looked attractive. There were shelves along the wall with various products and then large tables with different items and walkways throughout to move easily between tables.  Everything was out in the open ready to be picked up and examined, except for the jewelry, which from what I understand, is very expensive and mostly one-of-a-kind pieces. It almost looked like a luxury flea market, where you could find little treasures for yourself as products were stacked, grouped, and displayed in a casual and unassuming way. For example, an amber colored transparent polycarbonate Kartell side table displayed these great little sushi magnets (Note: the side table was about $250 and the sushi magnets $6).   

FEEL- When I first entered the store, I instantly felt happy and energized, since the smell of fresh cut roses reminds me of Valentine’s Day and birthdays, which are both happy events for me. I found out later that the smell came from the line of Dayna Decker candles and diffusers that emit the wonderful fragrance aptly called “Rose”. The music, because it wasn’t the typical mainstream pop sounds you hear at most retail locations made me feel like I was in a different country, on a trip somewhere new. It added to the experience because the music complimented the eclectic selection of consumer goods. What was even greater is that they only play music that they sell. So if you hear it and like it, you can buy it! I love that you can shop and sample their music at the same time. Plus, if you want to hear something new, you can go to their music section and sit and listen to any or all of the music compilations.  I’m going to go as far as to say that this store almost gives you a liberating feeling of freedom where everything is in reach and you don’t have to ask, “how much is this?” or, “can you show me that?” I feel like so many upscale stores want you to feel like you need a salesperson to help you, like they’re the experts, which in a way they are in terms of the product. But often times they want you to experience the store through their eyes. They try to convince you that they know what you want more than you do, or that they have more style and taste than you because they work there. But you, the customer, are an expert in what you like and need-- at least that’s what I believe Kuhl-Linscomb assumes. I think it’s a place for people who have a clear and confident taste and don’t need someone to tell them what to buy. When you’re ready though, they seem happy to assist you in designing a living space or answering any questions about any product.

ACT, RELATE- I feel like I have a good grasp of the kinds of things I like and I don’t really flip-flop around too much. But I also think designing a space is always a work in progress, it never seems finished, and our tastes change depending on where we live and where we are in our lives. But, no matter where you stand on personal style or design, Kuhl-Linscomb makes you feel like, “Yeah, this is me. I could definitely live like this.” I’ve taken several people there since my first visit, and they all respond that way. Kuhl-Linscomb is marketing a lifestyle, and if you’ve ever had any inclination to design or create things, you can appreciate all of the elements they bring together. You could actually buy everything you could need to fill an entire home at Kuhl-Linscomb. You wouldn’t need to go anywhere else. I often think when I go there, “I want my house to smell like that,” I want those books on my coffee table,” “I can picture that chair in my living room.” It inspires you to imagine things differently, and makes you feel creative and unconstrained. But being creative takes work, and sometimes the unfamiliar is scary. Yet, now that I’ve taken the plunge into the Kuhl-Linscomb world, I imagine I could stay there forever.